


Necromaster

by Maledictius



Category: The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
Genre: All the necromancer heirs are there too, Canaan House but not at all, Gen, Narrator Gideon, and yes Necromaster has narration like a competitive sport, taskmaster au, the cavs are the narrators for their houses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29581026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maledictius/pseuds/Maledictius
Summary: In which the necromancer heirs to the Nine Houses compete through tasks, broadcasted to all and everyone! As told by Gideon Nav.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Necromaster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [darlingofdots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingofdots/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, babe! It's a gift that keep on giving*!
> 
> *two more times

“Goooooood evening, gentlenuns, skelleladies, and everyone stuck in between, hanging above, or buried below. It’s Wednesday, my dudes! And you know what that means! Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit’s time! Who will be the winner of this week’s _Necromaste_ r? Who will be crowned _Taskmancer_? Will it be our own venerable queen of bones and darkness herself, Harrow Darkness Dementia Nonagesimus? Or will our dear Sex Pal finally stop talking and actually get to doing his task this week? Who know, maybe this will be the week that Ianthe trips on her ego and dies an unfortunate early death. The possibilities are endless!

“Speculation and uncertainty aside, what we do know for sure is that we’ll make our first stop at this week’s prize task. What will our dearly beloved and socially capable necromancer bring to present to Teacher this time? The theme: _leisure_. No way that can go wrong! It sire is a good thing it’s Little Miss Harrow down there and not me, we gotta keep this PG13, if you know what I mean. Heh.

“You ever wish Judith could just do anything that resembled fun? Only me? Maybe that’s how they roll on the second. Although I have my doubt any of you, dear viewers of the ninth, would do any better.

“Wine. Now, that’s not _bad_ , I’ll give them that. But with two heads to do the thinking one would think they’d come up with something more original.

“I almost expected little Isaac would bring like… a fidget spinner, so this is a pleasant surprise! Still, you couldn’t pay me to ever play that mixtape, I do not want to know!

“Abby, we love you, but you’re also a bit weird and boring, no offence. Come on, let’s keep it rolling.

“If I was ever offered the knowledge of what Sex Pal gets up to in his leisure time I’d take off running in the other direction but since I’m stuck here now… What if I just don’t look? Is that allowed? I can pretend, and imma pretend that he brings some knitting. Yes, knitting.

“And while we have some time let’s get started on worrying about Harrow. I know for a fact that Harrow doesn’t ever relax. This is probably the hardest thing anyone’s ever asked her to do. Like to grasp the concept of _Leisure Time_ , I mean. Harrows idea of a fun time is making skeleton monstrosities and using them to hunt me down and try to murder me. Not even kidding, I’m sure most of you have witnessed this happening at least once!

“She did also laugh one time when I tripped over a femur and hit my head on a lantern, so I guess that’s up there too.

“I hope you’re all as excited as I am to see what hell is to be brought upon us here. What object will symbolize Leisure for our Reverend Daughter? Drumroll please!

“Soup?

“What the fuck, Nonagesimus, you can’t bring soup! I’ve never seen you eat soup! Is soup _fun_? Is it _relaxing_? Do you have secret leisure soup hidden away in some dark corner while I’m busy fighting for my life with your skeletons?

“That said, I see you laughing, Ianthe, and I will remember this when we kick your ass in every single task as always. So, like…. Tone it down, it does not become.

“Now. A winner. I really don’t envy Teacher his job. Like mine isn’t good but at least I don’t have to try to figure out what’s the best leisure object. So many exciting choices! Will it be the _wine_? The _crosswords_? Or maybe even… _soup_?

“Oh, he chose Abby, with her… nice plant. What a nice plant. So…. Green?

“The important thing is that Silas lost, and the fucking soup beat out the wine, yay!

“I am so glad we’re moving on. I hate the prize task, but don’t tell anyone, I need them to keep paying me to do this. Because I have purchases to make, for me and _my_ leisure time.

“Is this banter they’re forced to engage in entertaining for you? If that’s the case please send me confirmation, via raven or vague ominous premonition, I’m not picky.

“At least the main task will provide some fun, for me, and embarrassment, for them. Can’t wait, let’s go!”


End file.
